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Straight Talk: Trust is a must

By   /   March 26, 2014  /   Comments Off

“My boyfriend wants to be with me 24/7. I work full-time and go to school part-time, so it’s really difficult to juggle everything lately. I’ve been very focused on my grades so there have been a lot of nights where I stay home to study instead of hanging out with him. I just want him to understand my schedule and be supportive of my goals. I don’t want my priorities to affect our relationship.”

-Busy Gal

Dear Busy Gal,
Good for you for putting your education first. You clearly are driven and on the right track – and your boyfriend needs to understand that. He should be encouraging you to continue pursuing your goals and not make you feel bad for not being with him 24/7. He sounds a bit selfish and needy. A relationship should be bringing you up, not weighing you down. If he can’t respect that you’re dedicated to your studies and are a hard worker with a busy schedule, maybe he needs to go find someone who can hold his hand every second. You should also start thinking about if you’re even at a spot right now where you can handle such a high maintenance relationship.

Screen shot 2013-11-07 at 2.54.01 PM“The other day, my girlfriend of two years suddenly asked me for my Facebook and Twitter password. WTF? I’ve never given her a reason not to trust me. We rarely argue about anything bigger than where we’re going for dinner. I don’t get it. I don’t want her to think I’m doing something behind her back if I don’t give it to her. But at the same time, why should I have to give it to her if I have no reason to?”

  -Confused

Dear Confused,
Ask her why she’s dating you if she can’t trust you. You don’t have to give them to her. Sharing passwords is a childish way to show affection and loyalty. If she needs more than the loyalty you’re already giving her, that’s a problem. You have a right to keep your passwords to yourself. Have a conversation with her about how she’s starting problems that aren’t there. Explain how sharing passwords is not a way to show trust. We’re not in high school anymore. Reassure her that you’re committed to this relationship and she has nothing to worry about.

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