I’ve been on and off with this guy for a year now. He captured my heart in the beginning and we even talked about moving in together but as time went on things changed and basically at this point I’m drained of all the pain he’s caused me. But every time he tries to get me back, I always fall right back in. I don’t know how to let go for good. Guys have a way with words and it doesn’t help when you love someone even though they have hurt you. What if he does eventually grow up and things finally work out? Or what if we stay together and I end up in a terrible marriage?
At some point, even the most hopeful person needs a reality check. It sounds like your relationship has become a dangerous cycle of breaking up and getting back together, leaving you exhausted. You are at a point in your relationship where, no matter what he does to get you back, the only thing that matters now is what you do for yourself. Though letting go can be really scary, you have to find the courage to do so within yourself, because you know you deserve something so much better. What if he does eventually grow up? Well, everything happens for a reason, and if you two are meant to be, you will find each other again. The universe has a weird way of working that stuff out, and in the mean time, focus on yourself and what makes you truly happy. There would be nothing worse than the alternative-you settling and ending up in an unhappy marriage. Take the time to enjoy your passions, interests, friends, and family and figure out what you really want in a relationship.
My best friend of 4 years is starting to really get under my skin. She’s selfish, self-centered, and rude. I feel bad just cutting her out my life and I’m debating if I should even bother confronting her about it because I feel like she’ll never change.
Four years is a long time to be best friends. It sounds like recently, these issues have become a problem for you and she isn’t pulling her weight in the friendship. Though it’s easy to assume that people won’t change, I suggest you bring your concerns to her anyway. Your friendship has lasted this long, and it’s worth it to at least see what happens. Try meeting at a place that you both enjoy, like a restaurant or place to shop, and have an open conversation. Don’t be afraid to be totally honest with her! Things can change, but only if you both know what’s up. Keep in mind she may be going through a change in her life that is causing her to act differently. After that, re-evaluate your friendship and see if things have changed for the better. If not, don’t feel bad moving on… at least you tried!
My ex-boyfriend’s family still keeps in touch with me and I haven’t talked to him in over a year. I’d love to hang out and see where things go again but I’m deathly afraid of getting rejected and even bringing it up in the first place that I want to see him.
Sincerely, Scaredy Cat
Odds are, your ex knows that his family still keeps in touch with you. If he wanted to hang out again, he would definitely know where to find you and how to get in touch. Prepare yourself for the possibility of rejection…given that you haven’t talked in over a year, he may have moved on. That being said, if you are sincere about wanting to see if anything still remains between you, contact him, and do it quickly- the longer you wait, the more time you spend lingering and nervously awaiting a response. The best way to do this would be a phone call or Facebook message to keep it private without any family members intervening. Whatever you choose to do, don’t look back! Whether you move on and forget him, or reach out and make the call, keep the big picture in mind – there are plenty of fish in the sea.